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October 31, 2012 / Ronald Chapman

Pulling that ugliness out – An Encounter

“So what was it you appreciated?” he asked Mikey.

He stubbed out his cigarette and promptly lit another. An exposed almost childlike look came to his face and eyes. “I joke about Murderers Anonymous but I’ve killed.” He glanced up furtively, “Not since I got off the sauce, mind you.”

Pitcairn gave him the nod of validation he knew the man needed.

“It was hard to find but there was a lot a hurt and hate in me. My sponsor in the pen, Big Bobby Blue, helped me feel, deal and heal. But I still hated my folks for what they done to me.” He sucked on the cigarette as a frown creased his face. “And what they done to my baby sisters was the worst. They’re both crazy as loons from the crap they took.”

Mikey leaned back for a deep breath. “So, ole Bobby helped me bore deep down in my soul. It was black as hell. And then Bobby hooked me up with this dude who brought AA meetings in to us. Danny was a counselor. He spent a lotta time with me, pullin’ that ugliness out.”

He chuckled then and scratched the back of a hand. Sadness shone in the big man’s moist eyes. “Danny and Bobby showed me how to forgive my folks. What they done was wrong. But now I know it was the same shit was done to them. And as soon as I got ahold a that forgiveness, I stopped hatin’ people.”

“Then I had to stop hatin’ myself for what I done. That was the hardest thing you could imagine, Pitcairn. I was a nasty son-of-a-bitch. And I could never make right what I did wrong. But we got the job done, me, Bobby and Danny.”

A light shone in Mikey’s eyes. “Killin’ and hurtin’ people was the only thing I knew.” He smiled with giant teeth, beaming right at Pitcairn. “You got it right in your article, buddy.”


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