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August 4, 2012 / Ronald Chapman

Held Resentment

I’m thinking of all the effort that must be expended in order to let go of our resentments. Seventy times seven … which translates into a great deal … strikes me as a fair approximation.

What is it that makes forgiveness so difficult?

Perhaps it is the sense of injury or wrongdoing that binds us to our animosity. Or it may be that the pleasurable feelings of held resentment are just too alluring.

I remember a coaching conversation with someone who was deeply bound to some hatred held for another person. In the end, it seemed as if he was simply unwilling to open to the possibility of release … of forgiveness. In retrospect I think he had become very attached to the injury.

Of course the tragedy is that once wounded he seemed to have an uncanny capacity for finding opportunities to be re-injured in the same way over and over again. I never had the means to tell him just how ugly he had become as a result.


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